Your right. I have an extremely stressful life right now. Everything seems to be working in unison to make my every move a thousand times harder to make. I don't enjoy the bonsai themselves. They don't really magically change my emotions, and calm me, it's the fact I'm sitting out, and taking time to stop and think. It has a very powerful effect on me. The exact same thing is true for cigarettes. Many people actually feel calmer just because it's the only time they have. They step out. Light up. And just sit and enjoy themselves. (A little weird how you suggest smoking, which is drug use, instead of false nirvanna bonsai, which you compare to drug use.)
Smoking a cig is nothing like tripping out on LSD or DMT. I know my drug use it's to fill a void. I'm only busted your balls a little is because I really don't want another kid to not have a good father just because he's not mature enuf. I know you have heard it a million times, but I think you should start working full time and save money to support the kid. Their is no she dropping out and getting your GED years later.
Sorry it's a sensative topic for me because as you know I never had a father figure in my life. Just put you life on hold, stop thinking about your future because it's time to think of your kids.